Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Place Your Bets

While many blogs will no doubt analyze the effect Belinda’s defection to the Liberals will have on Thursday’s vote, the next election and Stephen Harper’s leadership, I am determined to analyze it based on the issue that most Canadians care about – Parliament Hill gossip. With Peter MacKay tossed aside like a flimsy “no-merger” David Orchard deal, Belinda is no doubt ready to move on. So, the big question is: Which Liberal will Belinda become romantically involved with? Here’s the early line:

Jean Lapierre (4-1): I’m sure he’d love to start a temporary ad hoc rainbow coalition with her, if you know what I mean.

Ken Dryden (9-2): Belinda was married to an Olympic gold medalist, so she definitely likes athletes. And it would be fitting that Parliament Hill’s Barbie winds up with someone named Ken.

Joe Volpe (6-1): There’s only one person in Ottawa with larger delusions than Belinda that they’re a legitimate leadership contender and that person is Joe Volpe. In that respect, they’re a perfect match. But would Joe compromise his morals and date a former Klanswoman?

Paul Martin (13-2): Come on. Surely Paul had to do more to “seal the deal” Monday night than offer her a Cabinet position?

Ralph Goodale (12-1): A good prairie boy. The problem as I see it is that, just like Paul Martin, Belinda would leave Ralph for Jack Layton once the going gets tough.

David Emerson (15-1): This guy can bake a really, really big economic pie, if you catch my drift...

Reg Alcock (20-1): Obviously Reg had Belinda in mind when he said they wanted someone “higher in the gene pool”.

Scott Brison (25-1): Yes, he’s gay. But he might do it just because he hates Peter MacKay so much.

Place your bets!


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