Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Christmas Letters: Michael Ignatief

Yesterday I posted an exclusive copy of Stephen Harper's Christmas letter. Today, a draft of Michael Ignatieff's, obtained from my OLO contacts. I publish it here so that those of you not on Michael's Christmas card list can get a look.



Salutations my Canadian friends,

Isaiah Berlin once proclaimed “philosophers are adults who persist in asking childish questions” – over the past year, I have found that the same could be said about politicians in question period. There, now that I have successfully lightened the mood with a joke, allow me to recap 2009 as is custom to do in these letters.

In May I was named Liberal Party leader, following in the footsteps of many great men, and my predecessor Stephane Dion. I owe a special thanks to my good friend Bob and (NOTE: Can someone in the Liberal research bureau please find the name of the other chap in that race and insert here) for stepping aside.

I immediately placed the Prime Minister on probation, then on double probation. I flirted briefly with the idea of upping this to triple probation, but after wafer-gate and the Iqauluit typo, I felt the time was right to strike. As Machiavelli said “It is double pleasure to deceive the deceiver”, so I concocted a clever plan, whereby I would reveal a bold policy vision to Canadians, letting voters know where I stand involving special committees, EI reports, and opposition days. Alas, I was foiled by Jack Layton! Foiled by Jack Layton – what an ignominious fate, would you not agree?

On a personal note, I’ve enjoyed spending time eating my double-double at Tim Hortons, as I watch the Canadians and Maple Leaves duel it out for hockey supremacy, eh?

In conclusion, let me leave you and your family with a quote from one of my favorite philosophers, Michael Ignatieff – “Patriotism is a strong nationalistic feeling for a country whose borders and whose legitimacy and whose ethnic composition is taken for granted”.

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, Seasons Greetings, Joyeux Noel, Sincerely yours,

Michael Ignatieff

8 Comments:

  • He should probably cut out that "on probation" part. Ouchies.

    By Anonymous Sean Cummings, at 8:21 AM  

  • LOL. Love the quotes and gratuitous canadiana references.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 2:36 PM  

  • Can't wait for greetings from Talaban Jack.

    The Greens (E. May) will indeed be interesting with Global Warming being proven wrong and nothing but a money grab.

    Keep up the balanced opinions.

    By Anonymous Clown Party, at 3:11 PM  

  • love it too funny!!!!!!!!!

    fh

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 6:31 PM  

  • what about double secret probation?

    Looking forward to Layton's and if I have been a really good boy May's Christmas letters.

    By Blogger Dan-O, at 7:55 PM  

  • When circulating the Christmas letters, please don't forget Gilles. (You'll have to translate for us anglos.) At election time I always look forward to GD's appearance in the English lang. debate because he has the enviable freedom to say almost anything; his pithy digs at the three stooges make me laugh out loud.

    Also, do you think you might get your hands on the leaders' letters to Santa/Pere Noel?

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 11:02 PM  

  • Too funny "… eating my double-double…" and "… following in the footsteps of many great men, and my predecessor Stephane Dion."

    I think Ignatief would be more careful than Harper to not use American spelling. He would insist on a 'u' in favourite.

    By Blogger daBoss, at 8:16 AM  

  • I thank you can share with me.

    By Anonymous Data recovery software, at 3:15 AM  

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