Wednesday, April 01, 2009

Exclusive: Roll Up The Attack Ads

One of my old Calgary friends now working in the PMO gave me the inside scoop on the new Ignatieff attack ad blitz, set to launch within the next two weeks. The campaign will be titled "not a Canadian", similar to the "not a leader" ads used to brand Dion. True to Conservative form, rather than attacking on substance, they will be wrapping themselves in the Maple Leaf and attacking Ignatieff's patriotism.

The twist to this one is that it won't feature TV commercials - instead the the Tories have signed a multi-million dollar sponsorship deal with Tim Hortons. [Gosh, I wonder how much Patrick Muttart state-of-the-art polling it took them to figure out this was the best way to reach the Tim Hortons crowd, eh?]

The face of the campaign will be "Lenny the Leaf" (pictured above). Lenny will be on every Tim Hortons coffee cup coast-to-coast (only he'll be "Pierre le Poisson" au Quebec) - the cups will be equipped with heat sensors, so that once the coffee begins to cool, Lenny will shout out "hey you" and then recite facts about Ignatieff as customers drink their coffee.

While I don't have a list of the specific "facts" the Tory war room has dug up, I'll suggest the following, in the spirit of this campaign:

"Michael Ignatieff prefers NFL-rules football"

"Michael Ignatieff does not own a tuque"

"Michael Ignatieff went to a philosophy lecture rather than watch game 8 of the Summit Series"


"Michael Ignatieff does not enjoy talking about the weather"

"Michael Ignatieff enjoys Coors Light"

"Michael Ignatieff, when he gets bumped into by accident, does not apologize"


I also have it on good authority the Tories have pitched the idea of having specialty puffin shaped donuts sold (with a hidden tax on them), but it's unclear if Tim Hortons will go for this or not.

My initial reaction is that this one will backfire spectacularly, but the Tory attack machine has a good track record, so I may be wrong. I'll be sure to post more information as it leaks out.

24 Comments:

  • Ha

    By Blogger James McKenzie, at 9:08 AM  

  • Wow, been a Liberal all my life and it took Lenny the Leaf to convince me how i have erred.

    Let April 1 be the day when I shout out 'Lenny the Leaf convinced me I am a Tory'

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 9:12 AM  

  • Do they have any adults working on their attack ads?

    I think it will blow up in their faces because people will be bored with that same theme.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 9:12 AM  

  • poisson d'avril!!!

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 9:31 AM  

  • "Hey , you! Micheal Ignatieff voted for Stephane Dion"

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 9:38 AM  

  • I heard they were going with "Michael Ignatieff: he was once mean to his younger brother in high school forty years ago" for some of the cups. That one tested very high on in the focus groups in Red Deer and Moose Jaw.

    By Blogger Ted, at 9:41 AM  

  • Well - non-Canadians:

    Wayne Gretzky
    Mike Myers
    Jim Carrey
    William Shatner
    Martin Short
    Keifer Sutherland (whoops, he was born in England-grew up in Canada)
    Walt Disney
    Art Linkletter
    Raymond Burr
    Leslie Neilson



    ....let's add to the list folks

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 9:52 AM  

  • Hey - how about non-westerners (not born in the west)

    Stephen Harper

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 9:54 AM  

  • lol u had me till the third paragraph!

    By Blogger m5slib, at 10:06 AM  

  • You're the best.

    By Blogger Ashley_Wilkes-Booth, at 10:20 AM  

  • "lol u had me till the third paragraph!"

    a friend in the PMO??????? :)

    By Blogger Chuckercanuck, at 10:47 AM  

  • It probably says something bad about the state of political discourse in this country that had this been posted any other day, I would have believed it.

    By Blogger Matthew Naylor, at 11:12 AM  

  • Nicely done. I raised my eyebrow at the 'friend in the PMO' line, but only figured it out at "not a Canadian."

    And Lenny is awesome.

    By Blogger - K, at 11:30 AM  

  • Love the eyebrows on Lenny!

    By Anonymous Deb, at 11:41 AM  

  • I thought it was a joke at first, but the more I read the more it sounded like something the conservatives would really do.

    By Anonymous DR, at 12:04 PM  

  • If my Timmy's cup started talking to me about *any* product, there'd be a shower of hot liquid across the room. Can you imagine? That would be the one and only way in this economy for Timmy's to take a nose dive in sales. Brrrrrr. That ain't funnnny, Grit. Don't give them ideas.

    By Blogger Niles, at 12:27 PM  

  • Good one, CalgaryGrit!

    By Anonymous Andrea, at 1:50 PM  

  • True to Conservative form, rather than attacking on substance, they will be wrapping themselves in the Maple Leaf and attacking Ignatieff's patriotism.

    Yep! Only the Conservatives would sink so low as to launch negative attack ads and label their adversaries as "too American".

    I sure am glad we've got the Liberals, NDP and the Bloc who certainly wouldn't stoop to the same level every single time a microphone was put in front of their face.

    But what do I know, I'm just an Albertan, and as Paul Martin said in 2004, my values may work for Albertans, but they don't work for Canadians.

    By Blogger Robert Vollman, at 3:54 PM  

  • Robert does carry a good point - all the parties are pretty much neck-and-neck in "not Canadian" attack ads.

    By Anonymous Jason Bo Green, at 4:13 PM  

  • But Robert, we all know Stephen Harper doesn't love Canada...so attacking him on that is fair ;-)

    By Blogger calgarygrit, at 5:59 PM  

  • It will take more than an attack ad or strategy for the Liberals to regain power in this decade.

    http://adaugeoindex.blogspot.com/

    By Blogger Adaugeo Index, at 6:19 PM  

  • I realize that this is an April Fools joke...but honestly, this sounds to me like something that the Conservatives would actually do.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 8:31 PM  

  • good one !

    fh

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 8:56 PM  

  • I heard they were going with "Michael Ignatieff: he was once mean to his younger brother in high school forty years ago" for some of the cups. That one tested very high on in the focus groups in Red Deer and Moose Jaw.


    Excuse me but try quoting truth instead of hearsay. We have had more than enough bull shit to date. I am betting Harper will come out looking like an friggin idiot once the attacks start.

    By Blogger marie, at 3:01 PM  

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