Bart's Books - Rick's Rants
That's not to say that his book isn't enjoyable. Even though I watch his show on a weekly basis, a lot of the jokes seemed new to me and I was lol'ing quite a lot. It certainly makes for an easy book to read on the bus (as supposed to, say, Mulroney's autobiography) in bits and pieces.
So, rather than a full review, I present some of my favourite highlights from the book for your enjoyment:
You remember Focus on the Family. They’re the ones who think that SpongeBob SquarePants is gay. Take a look at their website – these people think about gay sex more than gay people do.
And, tragically, watching a few thousand socially retarded adults jump up and down [at the Liberal leadership convention] and wave signs with someone else’s name on it is what passes for excitement.
I’m not saying [appointing Fortier] was easy for Stephen Harper. It must be hard to look all your MPs in the eye and tell them they’re imbeciles.
From the teleprompter of Michael Ignatieff: “It has been almost one year now since I made the difficult decision to immigration to Canada and run for the leadership of the Liberal Party of Canada. Since that time I have taken clear positions on difficult issues and I have taken difficult positions on clear issues. Unfortunately, people do not seem to understand what I am talking about. If anyone is at fault here it is me; please bear with me, Canada, I am used to teaching the advanced class."
And Quebec…cripes, if you’re a federalist in Quebec, you couldn’t get elected as a prostate examiner.
The Conservative ad where they’ve taken the ugly picture of Paul Martin and turned him red so he looks like Satan is very effective. By and large, Canadians do not like the idea of being governed by Satan, no matter how well the economy is doing. And then there are the Liberal ads. These have shown that while negative ads work, stupid ads don’t. Because the Liberals have taken stupid to a whole new level. It’s an art now. It’s like the Liberals woke up one morning and said, “You know, Canadians, they think we’re arrogant and corrupt. Let’s add stunned to the list and make it a hat trick.”
Wouldn’t our 60 million in aid be better off going to Sudan [rather than China] – which, you know, doesn’t have a space program?
Now they’ve gone completely off their heads. Martin is spending like Belinda Stronach in a shoe store.
And what’s Quebec going to do with that money? They’re going to give the people a personal income tax cut. That noise you can hear is the sound of blood vessels bursting in the heads of Tory voters across the country.
So if you are dead or near dead, hurry now and give your body to the party – all leadership candidates are looking for support from dead people. Bob Rae, for example, has recently accepted the public endorsement of Hedy Fry.
Meanwhile, the new leader of the Liberal party’s out there running around, and he’s wearing so much green he’s looking like some sort of demented Keebler elf.
This must be driving Donald Rumsfeld completely nuts. Suddenly the only thing standing between him and his Buck Rodgers missile shield is a nation of pot-smoking, homo-loving peaceniks.
Book Recommendation: Pick it up in the bargain bin
A copy of this book was provided by Random House for review