Friday, December 31, 2004

Grities

As 2004 comes to a close, I thought I’d do one of those useless, yet somewhat fun year in review awards that everyone likes to roll out at this time of the year. The award title still needs work, but here are my picks for the best and worst of 2004:


Nuclear Cockroach Award (for refusing to die): Anne McLellan wins again

Dead Men Walking: John Efford, Scott Simms, Gerry Byrne, Bill Matthew

Dead Woman Walking: Judge Sgro

Bushism of the Year: “Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.”

Bushism of the Year – Runner Up: “Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB/GYNs aren’t able to practice their love with woman all across the country.”

Yet Another Bushism: “I want to thank my friend, Senator Bill First, for joining us today…He married a Texas girl…Karyn is with us. A West Texas girl, just like me.”

Bushism of the Year – Canada: Paul Martin’s “Normandy”/”Norway” slip-up

Don’t Quit Your Day Job: Glenn Murray

Jekyl and Hyde Award: Stephen Harper. He’s a genius, he won the leadership. He’s incompetent. He’s running a brilliant campaign. He’s running a terrible campaign. He’s a brilliant opposition leader. He’s invisible…

Rest in Peace: Mitchell Sharp 1912-2004

Winners of 2004:
1. George Bush: We all misunderestimated him
2. Attack Adds: They worked for Bush, and they worked for Martin.
3. Jon Stewart: The Crossfire smackdown was one of the best media moments of 2004
4. Kevin Taft: Takes over Alberta Liberal Party in March and runs great campaign
5. Danny Williams: He’s out to lunch on this offshore thing but it’s playing well at home. Ralph Klein’s heir a Premier you just wish would go away.

Losers of 2004:
1. David Herle: The Martin backroom gets disastrous reviews for their handling of nomination meetings, party purge and the election campaign.
2. Carolyn Parrish: Managed to get booted from a Caucus in minority government
3. Tony Clement: Loses Ontario Tory leadership…loses provincial seat…loses federal Tory leadership…loses federal seat – this guy has “loser” written all over him.

4. Howard Dean: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

5. John Kerry: In an election “not Bush” would have won, Kerry loses.

6. Judy Sgro: Going…Going…Going…

7. Sheila Copps: I’m a big fan, but she lost the nomination, got driven out of the party and, fairly or unfairly, her book was completely discredited.

8. Jean Lapierre: Not exactly the star performance in Quebec

9. Bigots: Same Sex marriage passed

10. John Efford: Between offshore oil and SSM, this guy is in deep trouble.


Bouncing Back
1. Asymmetrical Federalism: Meech is dead but Martin is quietly implementing it.
2. Jean Charest
3. Gilles Duceppe: Where’s a hairnet when you need one?
4. Stephane Dion
5. Ed Broadbent


Bloom is off the Rose
1. Paul Martin: 200 seats?
2. Ralph Klein: Every seat?
3. Bernard Lord: He could be Prime Minister right now, if he’d jumped into the ring.
4. Dalton McGuinty: I’m a big fan, but the budget hurt him.
5. Alberta Alliance: 1 seat? Even Kim Campbell won 2.


Breakthrough
1. Calgary Liberal – Chase, Taylor, Swann
2. Stephen Fletcher
3. Tories in Ontario
4. Belinda Stronach – who knew her a year ago?
5. Sheila Fraser – ditto.


Keep on Eye on…in 2005 and beyond
1. Star Wars…the movie and the plan
2. James Moore/Belinda Stronach – more on this later
3. Edwards/Obama 2008
4. Grandiose Gomery, the Gabby Gavel Jockey
5. Ken Dryden – Childcare
6. Martin/Chretien back-to-back in the inquiry
7. Ralph Goodale’s budget – will it bring down the government
8. Carole James – BC NDP leader

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