Tuesday, April 29, 2008

A Letter From The Nigerian Prince

UPDATE: It appears the letter posted yesterday was an earlier draft of a Calgary Nose Hill fundraising letter. Kudos to SJ and the team there for thinking outside the box on this one. Here's the full version:

From: Conservative Headquarters
To: Conservative Candidates
Date: December 2, 2005
Subject: Urgent Request

Dearest Candidate,

Good morning, how are you and your family? I hope fine. Please, I am sorry to bother you with our problem.

Please know that it's not by mistake I am contacting you but by the special grace of God. Let my start by introducing myself. I am writing from Stephen Harper's Conservative Party with this urgent request from Party Headquarters.

Now is the time for all good men to come to our aid.

The Conservative Party has an extra ONE MILLION TWO HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLARS in its bank account which is ordained to be used for TV advertising just before the January 23, 2006 election. But the Evil Chief Electoral Officer and his Satanic henchman, the Commissioner of Canada Elections, are watching us closely and are not permitting us to spend more than our puny $ 18.3 million limit.

Rules cannot be allowed to stop us from our destiny. Your campaign is identified as one which is not spending the limit. We will be switching our spending to your account by transferring $ 40,000 to your election bank account. But first you must give me a wire transfer form so that I can take the money out of your account as soon as it send you the money. I promise not to take more than I put in. Trust me.

After I use your bank account for this in and out transfer, you may claim 60% back from Elections Canada. This means you will get $ 24,000 and all you will have to do is let me use your bank account for one minute.

I assure you this is all legal. No one will suspect that this spending in not really for your campaign. And you can use the $ 24,000 anyway you wish.

Expecting your soonest response.

Stephen Harper Campaign Team
Conservative HQ, Ottawa*

*Dramatization of evidence use to obtain Criminal Code warrant to search Conservative Headquarters.


Help us bring real accountability to Canadian politics. We say, "if someone breaks the law, they should go to jail". We mean it, whether it is a former Liberal who steals from the government or our party, or a Conservative trying to steal from you. Send your cheque to the Calgary Nosehill Liberals - Accountability Fund at 108, 5211 - MacLeod Trail SW, Calgary, Alberta T2H 0J3.

Maximum donation is $1,100 (less any other donation made to a Federal Liberal Association). Tax receipt will be issued.



  • Crook!

    By Blogger JimTan, at 8:44 p.m.  

  • Dammit, I always delete those emails. I just assume the sender is full of BS.

    By Blogger Glen, at 8:53 p.m.  

  • Gold.

    By Anonymous eh, at 9:03 p.m.  

  • Absolutely awesome.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 10:40 p.m.  


    By Blogger BenParsons, at 10:54 p.m.  

  • This encapsulates the in-and-out scheme better than anything else I've read.

    By Blogger Corey Hogan, at 11:44 p.m.  

  • Hilarious. And yet sad that HArper disregards the an important core democratic institution.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 12:45 a.m.  

  • this. is. pure. genius.

    By Anonymous j, at 12:49 a.m.  

  • someone circulate this to MSM. this needs to be on Mike Duffy's Question Period.

    By Anonymous j., at 12:53 a.m.  

  • This piece of brilliance is one reason why, despite my conservative sensibilities, you remain one of the finest bloggers in this country.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 1:06 a.m.  

  • Bravo! Hilarious.

    By Blogger Red Tory, at 1:14 a.m.  

  • Brilliant! Started my day with a good laugh.

    By Blogger Canajun, at 8:46 a.m.  

  • Absolutely brilliant! This has to be seen in the MSM.

    By Blogger Cara, at 10:19 a.m.  

  • I am sorry but this was simply to grammatically correct to be a real scam letter. One would be led to believe that the Conservatives are staffed with people who have completed at least one year of post-secondary education.

    By Blogger Wheatsheaf, at 10:25 a.m.  

  • Grit, you are on fire these days.

    By Blogger Raymaker, at 11:27 a.m.  

  • Except that the email was only sent to ridings that were assured to win or assured to lose. So not every Conservative candidate was entitled to their entitlements on this one.

    By Blogger Ted, at 11:55 a.m.  

  • where oh where is the $40 million missing, evaporated or perhaps stolen from Canadian taxpayers in the LIBERAL PARTY of CANADA's ADSCAM fiasco ?

    Where or loyal Liberals, is our $40 million ?

    Some glass house you have there. No way we're gonna let you have any of our rocks, you have way more glass to break.


    By Blogger Fred, at 1:47 p.m.  

  • Are you still talking about what happened two Prime Ministers ago, Fred? The sponsorship scandal dates to a decade ago. That's going to be some campaign slogan there: I know we're breaking campaign finance laws and bilking taxpayers for our campaign expenses, but that's nothing to what was being done by a bunch of Liberals, um, some time ago, you remember? hopefully? Those bums we punished already and kicked out of office?

    Maybe the Libs could take your lead and campaign against Harper based upon Mulroney's corruption. Better yet, let's talk about how corrupt the Conservatives are right from the start and campaign on the Pacific Scandal under MacDonald!!

    The beauty of that is how much money the Libs will save on campaign materials. No need to create new posters or ads, just rehash old ones.

    By Blogger Ted, at 2:02 p.m.  

  • "Are you still talking about what happened two Prime Ministers ago, Fred? ... Maybe the Libs could take your lead and campaign against Harper based upon Mulroney's corruption."

    Haven't they already tried this?

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 2:19 p.m.  

  • Love it.

    By Blogger Steve, at 2:23 p.m.  

  • "Suckers"


    We're not the ones who voted for Honest Stephen, your friendly used car salesman. Does Honest Stephen's jalopy have rust under the new paint?

    By Blogger JimTan, at 3:04 p.m.  

  • Now THAT is fundraising.

    By Blogger Demosthenes, at 3:05 p.m.  

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