ScantilyCladWoman-gate

Finally, we understand why James Moore is deemed less competent for a Cabinet position than Gordon O'Connor, Michael Fortier, or Jason Kenney - he's a pervert. Yes, NDP MP Irene Mathyssen, has dropped the bombshell that I can only imagine will splash across the front page of the Globe & Mail tomorrow morning. Rather than snoozing, heckling, or pretending to laugh at Peter Van Loan's jokes, James Moore spent question period...on the Internet...looking at...a scantily clad woman!

"There was an image of a scantily clad woman in very flimsy lingerie" on the computer of Parliamentary Secretary for Public Works James Moore, New Democrat MP Irene Mathyssen told reporters. "It was dark in color and she was a brunette."

"It was, I would say, not hard porn by any stretch," she said.

"I would describe it as soft porn, Playboy-type stuff .

My first thought upon reading this was: ewww...Irene Mathyssen is, like, some sort of pornography classification expert. But those unnerving thoughts quickly turned to feelings of anger and rage. While Moore has flimsily tried to defend himself, this is perhaps Canada's biggest sex scandal since the Munsinger Affair. I am therefore proud to be the first to call for a full public inquiry in order to answer the following lingering questions:

Was Stephen Harper aware of this? Just how flimsy was her lingerie? Was this "playboy-type" soft porn or "Toronto Sun-type" soft porn? Is she Moore's "girlfriend" as reported in some stories or just his "friend" as reported in others? Are they "in a relationship" on facebook or are they at "it's complicated"? If she's single, what is her phone number? Given it's a sex scandal, I assume Peter MacKay must be somehow involved - how? Who is Irene Mathyssen and why have we never heard about her before? Did James Moore ever donate money to Jean Charest's leadership campaign? Has he ever signed golf balls? Did he dream of being a back bench MP when he was in kindergarten?

Canadians demand answers. We're mad as hell and, come hell or high water, we need to get to the bottom of this!

Air Ed

In yet another case of taxpayer funded globetrotting, a pair of retiring Tory MLAs jetted to Germany to learn how to become better MLAs.

EDMONTON - Last Thursday, Gary Mar learned he'll become Alberta's new agent in Washington and must resign as a Tory MLA by late October.

Three days later, he jetted to Germany on a publicly funded trip to learn how to become a better legislator.

The Canadian Taxpayers Federation's provincial director laughed when he was told.

A trip on how to become a better MLA? I hope one of the suggestions they made was about not wasting money on silly trips designed to teach you how to become a better MLA.

Luau

Time for your daily PC scandal...

Alberta Deputy Premier Ron Stevens made a three-day pit stop in Hawaii on a 2003 winter trip to Australia for government business, a CBC investigation has shown.

Stevens, also the province's justice minister, was the minister responsible for gaming when he travelled to Australia in January 2003 to study that country's gambling system.

Stevens defended the stopover Tuesday, saying it was a short layover to break up a long flight and was taken to save money.

"I don't recall whether it was a three-day stop or not," Stevens said when questioned about the trip.

"But I do recall that we did it in that fashion because it was less expensive than flying business class. In other words, it was the most economic way of doing it."

Credit card statements obtained under Alberta's Freedom of Information and Protection of Privacy Act show meals and drinks for Stevens, his wife and four others during their Honolulu stay were paid for with government cards.

Although the Hawaiin stop over is funny, my favourite part is that he had to fly to Australia to "study" their gambling system...