"There was an image of a scantily clad woman in very flimsy lingerie" on the computer of Parliamentary Secretary for Public Works James Moore, New Democrat MP Irene Mathyssen told reporters. "It was dark in color and she was a brunette."
"It was, I would say, not hard porn by any stretch," she said.
"I would describe it as soft porn, Playboy-type stuff .
My first thought upon reading this was: ewww...Irene Mathyssen is, like, some sort of pornography classification expert. But those unnerving thoughts quickly turned to feelings of anger and rage. While Moore has flimsily tried to defend himself, this is perhaps Canada's biggest sex scandal since the Munsinger Affair. I am therefore proud to be the first to call for a full public inquiry in order to answer the following lingering questions:
Was Stephen Harper aware of this? Just how flimsy was her lingerie? Was this "playboy-type" soft porn or "Toronto Sun-type" soft porn? Is she Moore's "girlfriend" as reported in some stories or just his "friend" as reported in others? Are they "in a relationship" on facebook or are they at "it's complicated"? If she's single, what is her phone number? Given it's a sex scandal, I assume Peter MacKay must be somehow involved - how? Who is Irene Mathyssen and why have we never heard about her before? Did James Moore ever donate money to Jean Charest's leadership campaign? Has he ever signed golf balls? Did he dream of being a back bench MP when he was in kindergarten?
Canadians demand answers. We're mad as hell and, come hell or high water, we need to get to the bottom of this!