CalgaryGrit: Before They Were Stars

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Before They Were Stars

From vintage voter, comes pictures of our current leaders in their youth. Their hair and glasses were all bigger, though some things never change - even a young Steve Harper had issues with "reality".

15 Comments:

CalgaryGrit, this is the media highlight of the entire campaign. I'm going to call it such before the campaign even closes.

I don't know who's going to win, but I doubt anyone will ever top this.

(That yearbook clip is adorable - seriously, for real, if I worked for the CPC, I would tell them to lustily circulate it out of airplane drops over every university and college and finance centre and sports facility in the federation.)

By Jacques Beau Vert, at 3:55 PM
Ah, it's another site. I still call it the media highlight. First time I've facebooked something.

By Jacques Beau Vert, at 4:04 PM
Iggy: Hot

Harper: A combination of pleading, and smarmy

Layton: Looks like he should be wearing a leather vest--and chaps.

May: Long winded

Duceppe: Brought a gun to a knife fight

By Paul Raposo, at 4:22 PM
On a light note, Iggy does the 'hip flip' in North Vancouver.

http://vansunelections.com/2011/04/19/video-nardwuar-vs-michael-ignatieff-in-vancouver/

Footage of Chretien and Layton doing the same. But, not stephen harper!

By JimTan, at 4:23 PM
So, who would you tap to play each leader in a movie of the week? For Harper, I'd get whoever played Wheels in Degrassi Junior High to shave off his mullet. Dave Foley could pull off older Harper.

By hosertohoosier, at 4:47 PM
"A blond Nana Mouskouri..." - that was the best line. Jack is so dirty its almost awesome.

By Marc from soccer, at 6:31 PM
Gilles could stand a hair net.

By Don, at 8:14 PM
movie of the week

Sorry to go all Starbucks on your Tim Horton's...

Harpergovernment: Harrison Ford. Sorry but it's just true. I know a lot of you want to say, "UM, FUCKING SATAN?!" Satan's too busy for movies.
Perfect hair that never moves, semi-monotone delivery, half his style is being ultra serious, and Ford really delivers "perturbed yet unflappable". Anyone can picture Harrison Ford hugging his kid. Also, is suspected to have already played a humanlike android called a "replicant".
Alternate Choice: John Travolta. Alfred Dr. Octopus Molina.

Jack Layton: Sean fucking Connery. Who cares if he's 80, he just gets better with age -- just like Jack Layton. Shrugs off pain and wounds. Doesn't miss his hair. Just wants to save the world. French would be a problem but Layton himself can dub it.

Runner-Up: Robert Duvall. David Cross in his dramatic debut. You heard it here first, peeps. People weep. I smell an Oscar. Patrick Stewart.

Gilles Duceppe: Christopher Walken.

Think about it.

Stand-In: Patrick Stewart. Jeff Bridges.

Elizabeth May: MEGAN FOX. Sorry kids, that's just the way Hollywood works. Character fits perfect with the Hollywood style of having all boys all the time and just a random chick now and then.
See Also: Pamela Anderson. Jessica Simpson. *A Telefilm production would feature Kim Cattrall

Mission Impossible: Pierce Brosnan. The guy is still bankable. People still remember Iraq. And remember, Brosnan's got experience playing real-life characters from Federation history already.
The Substitute: Accept No Substitutes

Cameo by Gene Hackman as the ghost of Jean Chretien.

By Jacques Beau Vert, at 1:27 AM
The only one who hasn't gotten better with age is Iggy. Was that photo of him taken before or after he helped Bush plan the pre-invasion of Iraq?

By Anonymous, at 10:25 AM
Beau Vert, here it goes:

Jeff Goldbloom plays Duceppe.
Matt Damon plays Harper.
Richard Dreyfuss plays Layton.
The chick from LA Law plays May.

Poor Iggy, the perfect stand-in would be Anthony Perkins, RIP.

But knowing Iggy, he'd be game to play himself.

By chuckercanuck, at 10:45 AM
Iggy looks like Spock's dad now that he's over sixty - not the hot young stud that he was in that clip from a CBC interview. (Wait, can intellectuals be studs? So confused.)

By Anonymous, at 2:24 PM
"(Wait, can intellectuals be studs? So confused.)"

Actual intellectuals, no, but Ignatieff is a public intellectual. He is sort of like the attractive and charismatic professor with some crazy ideas that gets on the news (The Core is a terrible movie, but it probably has the best example of this sort of character).

Dion is probably the only serious social scientist (King was probably a decent academic by the standards of his day) to have led a Canadian political party (Layton's PhD is from York, which is more a shrine to Marx than a place of serious inquiry, and I don't know enough about Broadbent's career to comment).

By hosertohoosier, at 10:34 PM
I want a tee shirt with that Harper pic. It's great!

By Rose21, at 11:17 PM
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-BWXM7C9vUZI/Ta3izV5Q4sI/AAAAAAAACYA/4ZbDeRyKG9c/s400/vintage%2Bduceppe.jpg

That last individual in the hair and glasses has a fascinating history as a Marxist-Leninist-Maoist. Of course, as you know, Communists are interested in continental integration, and elimination of the nation-state.

Here's an English translation of some research on Mr. Hair and Glasses Gilles Duceppe, originally published in French:

http://jack-and-gilles-went-up-the-hill.blogspot.ca/2011/09/plan-for-quebec-communist-state.html

By Anonymous, at 8:56 PM
Ten things you don’t know about Steve Harper, the leader of Canada’s “Corporate Party”

1. Harper’s an Evangelist (i.e. a Holy Roller, but he doesn’t believe in it, it’s just for show, it’s actually just a front for “corporate interests”)
1. Harper’s church rejected divorcee Laureen, so after living common-law together, they married in a civil ceremony on December 11, 1993. So much for his religious shtick.
2. He's getting divorced (check out his website, all pics of Harper and Laureen together have been removed; note I don’t care they broke up, I care how he lies about it for years and uses fake happy family to campaign for him
2. His “personal assistant” Ray♥Novak used to live in Harper’s backyard above the garage… FOR YEARS… what wife would put up with THAT?
3. Member of the fundamentalist Christian Alliance Church (they don't like gay people)
4. Member of the Northern Foundation (I think they don't like black people)
5. Member of the Calgary School of Political Science (they don’t like science)
6. Leader of the Reforma/Alliance Party (they don't like women)
7. Former Head of the National Citizens Coalition (they want to kill our national health care)
8. Supporter of The Canadian Taxpayers Federation (AstroTurfers who want to kill Canada’s social safety net while running a pyramid scheme cheating taxpayers out of revenue from wealthy corporate donors)
8. He’s not a real Red Tory Conservative; he’s a Reforma Alliance CRAP Party thing
9. His grandfather (Harper’s family is from Moncton, New Brunswick) either offed himself after becoming mentally ill or ran off with a woman, the truth is never talked about for some reason
10. The asthmatic Harper wears a $3,000 weave (he's obsessed with his own image and has a special salt & pepper one for elections, brown other times)
11. Steve hates to travel and didn’t get a passport until he could travel at the public’s expense
12. Steve hates being a politician, is uncomfortable in groups, really dislikes glad-handing
10. Steve stole three Canadian elections in a row. True story; Google it.
13. Steve Harper was president of his high school's Young Liberals Club at Richview in Toronto; he also appeared on Reach for the Top t.v. program. Harper is not dumb, he just works for the interests of rich corporations / big business instead of for you
14. Spends every second of every waking moment plotting his scorched earth policy against The Liberals instead of doing one good thing for anybody

Shouldn’t Steve Harper be working on other things? Like help for struggling families.

C.R.U.S.H.
- Canadians Rallying to Unseat Steve Harper
Multi-Partisan Discussion Group of 9,100+ People
www.facebook.com/groups/292671928599/

www.unseatHarper.ca

By Anonymous, at 10:00 AM