Tuesday, February 09, 2010

The Art of Text Message Seduction, by Adam Giambrone

Just in time for Valentine's Day, Calgary Grit is pleased to offer relationship advice from Adam Giambrone - the perfect way to impress those special someones this Sunday!


1. Always text! It is the best way 4 U 2 get ur message across. Whether you're telling your girlfriend about your other girlfriend ("You know I will be announcing I have a partner. It is someone named Sarah who I've been involved with in the past") or telling her why she's important to you ("I still think of you when I need ... um ... stimulation") - a text is perfect for any occasion!


2. Women like being used as campaign props. There is no greater compliment you can give a woman than letting her know you're dating her because "I had to have someone political".


3. Rather than buying your mistress a birthday gift, let her know "a long, long time ago about the (TTC) fare hike". Think of all the money she'll save stockpiling tokens in advance!


4. Show a woman how important she is to you - even after you tell her you can't be seen in public together, all will be forgiven when you text her "I still think of you when I need ... um ... stimulation". Other great compliments include: "I like you because you're smart and interesting. You're also good-looking naked."


5. Make it clear where you stand. Your live in girlfriend will appreciate your honesty when you text your other girlfriend: "I am NOT marrying (Sarah)".


6. Be sure to psych yourself up so that you are "ready" for any big date by doing push-ups and jumping jacks in your suit, and talking to yourself in the mirror. You'll appear that much more confident.





OK, OK. Now that we've had our fun with Giambrone, what does it all mean? Personally, I'm torn. I question the wisdom of anyone who thinks David Miller "is like a god", but I do appreciate Giambrone's use of proper grammar in most of his text messages.

Still, when the main knock on the guy is that he's too immature to be mayor, this is more than a sex scandal. This campaign could be over by the time the snow melts.


UPDATE: Quite a bit before the snow melts, it turns out. Giambrone quits the race, leaving a huge hole on the left.

Labels:

29 Comments:

  • Looks totally like the poor judgment of youth.

    This guy's my councilor. He's good with constituents.

    He's looking for ways to bump himself upstairs to provincial politics, I htink.

    My riding is apathetically Liberal, but the NDP have been gaining slowly, election by election. Giambrone could take the riding... though I think he's shot himself here for a while.

    By Blogger Mark Francis, at 6:19 PM  

  • Calgary Grit, Calgary Grit--Alberta brings out one of its most politically-sensitive budgets in years and you're turning into Shinan Govani? What are we going to do with you, Calgary Grit?

    By Anonymous ace, at 6:37 PM  

  • The case for factoring in personal issues in voting:

    Politicians propose platforms, but we don't always know whether or not they will enact them. There are also a number of residual issues that affect somebody in a governing position, we don't necessarily know how they will react (eg. you could not have known with certainty how Chretien would have responded to the Iraq war in 2000).

    Personal traits may give us clues to how politicians will behave in those situations. For instance, Bush was not a very risk-averse person, and that translated to his presidency. Alternately, Jimmy Carter's religious beliefs might tell you something about his likelihood to use nuclear weapons (and his credibility on that front).

    Moreover, even if YOU don't care about sex scandals, many voters do. If they take place it can consume a politician's agenda, even if you believe it shouldn't. Clinton could have gotten a lot more done were it not for the Lewinsky scandal.

    What have we learned about Giambrone:
    1. He is willing to take very high risks for a fairly marginal payoff.
    2. He can't keep a secret.
    3. He does not appear to care much about how his actions hurt people (supposedly) close to him.
    4. He is not very mature.
    5. He appears to either be incompetent or rather stupid from his management of the affair. One might say he ran the thing like he ran the TTC.

    This wouldn't be that important, except that it ties in with a lot of more general critiques of Giambrone - that he is too self-absorbed, inexperienced, immature, vapid, tone deaf and uncaring to be mayor. I wasn't voting for him anyway, but surely this can't improve one's assessment of Giambrone.

    By Blogger hosertohoosier, at 6:51 PM  

  • Ouch, I'm cringing.

    I feel bad for him -- nobody should have their personal lovelives made public like this.

    But yeah, it really displays an un-readiness. I'm so glad I'm considering leaving TO now that it looks set to fall to Smitherman. OTOH, for such a cold city, perhaps he's really the perfect Mayor.

    Giambrone thinks Miller is like a god? I don't have time enough to follow municipal politics closely, but yikes, if I'd known that before....

    By Blogger Jacques Bo Vert, at 7:11 PM  

  • Speaking of immaturity, this post was not your finest hour, CG, to put it mildly. As an a non-Torontonian, maybe I'm missing something, some inside reason why your response to gutter journalism is to pile on, rather than reprimand Star. Is there some intensely personal reason you would react in this way, something the guy did to you, personally? Because this reaction is far below what I would have expected from you.

    By Blogger Eugene Forsey Liberal, at 7:26 PM  

  • I can't wait to see what pops up from George "Party n' Play" Smitherman's past. Although the media would likely be more protective of him.
    Will any of the multitudes involved in social media be upset with Giambrone if they behave the same way?

    By Blogger nuna d. above, at 7:39 PM  

  • Eugene Forsey Liberal: speak for yourself!

    Do you think that maybe he and Lucas cooked this up to quell any more gay rumours? What's the story on Sarah, anyway? Is she just a beard?

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 7:57 PM  

  • It's funny, I always thought Giambrone was gay, too.

    I actually don't think there's anything inherently wrong with screwing around... people are people. The text messages don't bother me at all -- if people saw my text messages, they'd never vote me into any office. But the double life aspect is troubling.

    By Blogger Jacques Beau Vert, at 8:06 PM  

  • I agree this cements a narrative against Giambrone, but there are numerous MPs on Parliament Hill who have cheated on their wives (often with younger women and in one case a woman who was about 20) which I'm sure involved a certain amount of lying as it went on. Yet the press never reported on it, even though, in some cases, there are affairs still going on today that are widely known about.

    Do we want to be reading about this or that MPs messy break-ups and divorces now (or past affairs and divorces from years ago) in the news?

    Because by you and others piling on, it's only going to be a feeding frenzy like that from here on in. As Radwanski said, not a great precedent to be setting here.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 9:25 PM  

  • I think this is a legitimate story, and I think the mockery is legitimate, too. I think the story should be milked until Giambrone is completely destroyed as a political entity.

    When playing around on the side compromises one's ability to serve the public - and it usually does - it's fair game. I know countless politicians who have engaged in corrupt *political* activity - expense abuse, conflicts of interest, human resources violations - all directly related to the practice of their so-called "private lives," and they get away with it because we keep finding excuses not to cover the cause, and so no one ever reports on the consequences.

    It's time to open this door and purge all the professional liars, the harassers, the sex-in-the-office types, the abuse-of-power practioners, all clear out of the system instead of finding excuses to justify behavior we'd never justify in any other workplace.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 11:06 PM  

  • Do we want to be reading about this or that MPs messy break-ups and divorces now (or past affairs and divorces from years ago) in the news?

    Honestly, the way people look back on using leeches for brain tumors is how people are going to look back on our horror at and interest in other people's sex lives - and that day is coming soon, thanks to the internet..

    This is damaging to Giambrone now. It'll be laughed at in years.

    Everybody fucks - the only people who don't fuck are dreaming about fucking. I know so many people with Xtube videos, and nude photos of themselves all over the internet that I believe that one day, there will be a tipping point, and it just won't matter anymore, because people won't give a fuck about all the fucking.

    By Blogger Jacques Beau Vert, at 2:03 AM  

  • It's time to open this door and purge all the professional liars, the harassers, the sex-in-the-office types, the abuse-of-power practioners, all clear out of the system instead of finding excuses to justify behavior we'd never justify in any other workplace.

    Smart idea... a government made up of uptight losers with no lives. Probably not even enough to fill half the House of Commons - so at least we'd save a few nickels on salaries.

    By Blogger Jacques Beau Vert, at 2:06 AM  

  • It's also the text messages.

    "Giambrone Had Affair" isn't that big a deal.

    "I think about when I ... um... stimulate myself" is a big deal. It's not right, it's not just, and I believe it is a total invasion of privacy to mass produce a person's communicated thoughts. But in today's word, it looks silly.

    It's not the fucking around so much as it is the silly.

    Anyway, my .02

    By Blogger Jacques Beau Vert, at 2:14 AM  

  • "Do we want to be reading about this or that MPs messy break-ups and divorces now (or past affairs and divorces from years ago) in the news?"

    Giambrone is the one who tried to make his personal life a political issue by parading around a trophy "partner" in an attempt to deceive the public about his personal life. If he had been honest from the beginning he would not have had the problems he does now.

    Divorce is not the same as cheating, by the way. Nice attempt at moral equivalency.

    By Blogger hosertohoosier, at 3:54 AM  

  • I do appreciate Giambrone's use of proper grammar in most of his text messages.

    I thought that might have been cleaned up by The Star for publication, but it is potentially positive that Adam Giambrone doesn't send text messages that look like Prince song titles.

    By Blogger Daniel, at 5:59 AM  

  • "Is she just a beard?"

    I believe the correct term is "Baird."

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 6:16 AM  

  • Honestly though, what did this guy have going for him when he started the race? It's all been downhill from nowhere for him!

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 8:21 AM  

  • "Honestly though, what did this guy have going for him when he started the race? It's all been downhill from nowhere for him!"

    He had good reasons to run. Either he could not run, and be marginalized by a right wing mayor. Or he could run, resulting in one of two things:
    1. Smallish (10-15%?) chance of becoming mayor. Good.
    2. Even if he lost, his campaign would have spent 2 million dollars on raising his profile and name recognition. This would provide a perfect launching pad to a federal or provincial seat (indeed, John Tory became Ontario Tory leader on the strength of his losing bid for the mayoralty).

    By Blogger hosertohoosier, at 8:31 AM  

  • ace - once I digest the Alberta budget, I'll definitely have a few things to say on it. Fret not.

    By Blogger calgarygrit, at 9:46 AM  

  • Eugene - I don't really think the Star should have printed the story. The guy hasn't broken any laws and it sounds like whatever sensitive information he leaked was fairly minor.

    But the story is out there, and I think it's a funny story. Moreover, I think it shows Giambrone isn't up for the job of mayor.

    By Blogger calgarygrit, at 9:49 AM  

  • And now it's day two, with "multiple affairs," a clear admission that he was lying to the media on day one, and still, not a moment of work on the collapsing reputation of the TTC because he's too busy trying to deal with his campaign and his girlfriend(s).

    Anyone still thinking this story doesn't matter? Anyone still thinking that this guy's 'habits' weren't interfering with his job?

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 10:18 AM  

  • What a press conference. I'm not going to lie, I get a certain guilty pleasure out of watching a train-wreck like this.

    By Blogger hosertohoosier, at 1:48 PM  

  • One other thing. I think what is really sad is that a silent workhorse like Joe Pantalone was ignored by the left (his youtube video has 74 hits, poor guy) in favour of a guy like Giambrone. Giambrone rose as the standard-bearer of the left for very superficial reasons, so perhaps there is a kind of justice in his demise for similarly superficial ones.

    By Blogger hosertohoosier, at 1:53 PM  

  • Anon @10:18am: I am sure you will be more than happy to have the same standards applied to yourself and anyone you know, in any position of responsibility.

    By Blogger Eugene Forsey Liberal, at 2:31 PM  

  • He still easily beats any of the current Mayoral candidates who have posted videos on youtube. You wonder about a guy who was able to be politically smart and get that kind of attention for a youtube video but was dumb enough not to sign the light on his own past misdeeds.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 3:33 PM  

  • I'm surprised he didn't announce how the girls should contact him for Valentines Day, now that they know he should be free of campaign commitments.

    It's not like two or three other Valentines dates would get in his way.

    Since he doesn't believe the voters should have to pass judgement on his qualifications for office, I'm waiting to see when he's going to resign from his current Elected Office.

    By Blogger Paul, at 3:35 PM  

  • H2H - Unless someone high profile goes into the race, Giambrone's exit will certainly be a big gain for Pantalone.

    By Blogger calgarygrit, at 4:53 PM  

  • "H2H - Unless someone high profile goes into the race, Giambrone's exit will certainly be a big gain for Pantalone."

    The key question is where the David Miller organization and prospective campaign war-chest goes (they have a lot of time to make up their mind with Toronto's insanely long campaigns). If they can consolidate behind a candidate like Joe Pantalone, you could have something like Rob Silver's projected scenario.

    1. Smitherman and Rossi (Silver thought it'd be Tory, but whatever) duke it out for 6 months. It gets ugly (E-heeeealth). Smitherman sounds right-wing themes to try to beat Rossi.

    2. Pantalone is initially not taken seriously, though with a solid organization behind him, he can consolidate the lefty vote, which is pretty substantial in Toronto.

    3. If Rossi and Smitherman are close in the polls, and Pantalone wins over the base plus 10%, he can eke out a victory.

    I disagree with Silver 2.0 in his argument that only David Miller can win on the left. If Miller enters now he suffers from enormous negatives, and will become the focus of the race. If the left has a shot it is to win by stealth.

    By Blogger hosertohoosier, at 6:56 PM  

  • H2H,
    As always, great ideas to mull over, and I agree that Pantalone is overlooked.... good point.

    By Blogger Jacques Beau Vert, at 4:10 PM  

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