Peace, Order, and Good Government

With Canada Day here, it's a good time to reflect on the state of politics in this country. And the one conclusion I reach is: man, are Canadian politics ever boring compared to the States. I mean, even the "boring" US governors get embroiled in juicy scandals:

South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford, just back from a secret trip to Argentina unknown to his staff or his wife, admitted Wednesday he has carried on an extramarital affair with a woman in Buenos Aires, Argentina.

[...]

The South Carolina governor had not been seen in public since June 18. When questioned, Sanford's staff told media outlets Sanford was hiking on the Appalachian Trail. But Sanford was spotted Wednesday in Atlanta, Georgia's Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport.

Sanford said he had been in Buenos Aires. He said it was his fault for "shrouding this larger trip."

This following Eliot Spitzer's prostitutes, Rod Blagojevich selling a senate seat, James McGreevey's secret gay affair, and a slew of other high-profile governor scandals. And, say what you will about Sarah Palin or Ah-nuld, but at least they're interesting.

In comparison, what do we get from our Premiers? Danny Williams raising his voice on a talk radio show? OH MY GOD! Diverging accounting systems being used in BC? Man, will Colbert ever have fun with that one, eh?

Seriously, it's as if there was a reality show to find the 10 most bland, boring, middle aged white guys, and the winners are now our provincial Premiers.

And things appear to be worsening. It's not like Rodney MacDonald was a wild news maker, but at least he played the fiddle. Instead, he gets replaced by...I dunno...some dude who is already the "stump the At Issue Panel" punch line, a position routinely given to the most bland, unrecognizable politicians in Canada. We still haven't recovered from the tragic loss of Ralph Klein from the Premier ranks a few years ago; say what you will about Ralph, but at least he could be counted on to entertain. Instead, he gets replaced by a man so boring, he was described as follows by Graham Thompson:

If we're ever in the situation where the world is about to be destroyed by a giant asteroid in 15 minutes, somebody should have Premier Ed Stelmach hold a news conference and broadcast it around the globe.

For anyone watching, that final quarter of an hour will seem like an eternity. At the 10-minute mark people will be cheering on the asteroid.

To sit through a Stelmachian news conference is to witness an end to the laws of relativity and syntax as we know them.

Look, I'm not saying it's a good thing to have Governors or Premiers embroiled in scandal. But would it kill Gary Doer to get arrested for streaking across the field at a Bombers game, or something?