Thursday, January 29, 2009

Taking your cousin to the prom, and other coalition analogies

The death of the coalition I can live with. But the death of coalition analogies? That's like, like...well, I can't think of what that's like, but I'm sure these pundits and politicians could:

Don Newman (Monday): "The NDP are like that student who made a prom date in March and now, come May, he's not really sure that they're still going together."

(Monday exchange on Newsworld)
John McCallum: "We're not identical twins."
Suhana Meharchand: "But you could be first cousins, right?"
Thomas Mulcair: "It's a marriage of convenience."

Chantal Hebert (Monday): "But now that it has been let out of the bottle, the coalition genie will not vanish into thin air."

Chantal Hebert (same article): "To make their coalition work in the current House of Commons, the NDP and the Liberals had no choice but to force it into a parliamentary straitjacket whose straps lay in the hands of a third party."

Chantal Hebert (still the same article): "What could be a creative manifestation of the parliamentary system will become a politically forbidden fruit."

Jeffrey Simpson (Tuesday): "Like a bad one-night stand, it was regretted almost immediately."

Jeffrey Simpson (same article): "It was, therefore, a marriage of three..."

Jeffrey Simpsons (still the same article): "Since then, he has brandished the coalition weapon as though it were a wet noodle."

Aaron Wherry (Wednesday): Jack Layton sounds a bit like a 16-year-old who just got dumped by his girlfriend.

Chronicle Herald (Thursday): “Liberal Leader Michael Ignatieff blew up the bridge that bound him to the NDP and the Bloc Quebecois and dug a tunnel to the Tories instead.”

Chronicle Herald (same editorial): “It was a cattle prod with which to force Stephen Harper to massively intervene in the economy.”

Chronicle Herald (still same editorial): “The coalition was also a pitchfork with which to ward off Mr. Harper’s partisan scheming.”

Chronicle Herald (yup…same editorial): “It was nothing but a wobbly sawhorse.”



  • HA! Great quote research. I agree that the buzzwords are killing me...If I hear "Shovel Ready" one more time... ahhhh..

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 7:48 p.m.  

  • The NDP is in the position of having asked a pretty girl out and ending up with her less attractive friend (the Bloc).

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 10:03 p.m.  

  • Jack, we're just not that into you.

    By Blogger Jeff, at 10:31 p.m.  

  • You could also do some analogies about what opposition to the Coalition is like:
    let's see... how about: I don't eat tomatoes. They're bad for you, part of the deadly nightshade family.
    Or... who would ever drink their rum with Pepsi instead of a Coke?

    By Blogger Oemissions, at 8:15 a.m.  

  • Sounds like some Newfoundland Liberal MPs are keeping the coalition alive in spirit. Will they be thrown out of the party, as Joe Commuzzi was, if they don't vote with the Liberals on the budget?

    By Blogger nuna d. above, at 12:01 p.m.  

  • Is it normal to read that and get really sad...?

    By Blogger The Fwanksta, at 4:37 p.m.  

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