How the Grinch Prorogued Parliament

A guest post by John Lang (with one or two minor tweaks of my own, I couldn't resist making).


How the Grinch Prorogued Parliament

Every MP on the Hill liked Voting a lot…

But the Grinch, who lived just north of the Hill, did NOT!

The Grinch hated Voting! The whole Voting season!
Now, please don’t ask why. No one quite knows the reason.
It could be his head wasn’t screwed on just right.
It could be his new sweater vest was too tight.
But I think that the most likely reason of all, may have been that his caucus was twelve seats too small.

But, whatever the reason, his caucus or vest,
He stood on Voting eve, thumping his chest.
Staring down from his cave with a sour, Grinchy frown,
At the warm lighted windows below in the town.
For he knew every MP on the Hill beneath
Was busy now, preparing a victory wreath.

“And they’ve finished their plot!” he snarled with a sneer,
“Next Monday’s the vote! It’s practically here!”
Then he growled, with his Grinch fingers nervously drumming,
“I MUST find some way to stop Monday from coming!”

For, next week he knew all MP girls and boys would wake bright and early.
They’d rush for the hill!
And then! Oh, the noise!
Oh, the Noise! Noise! Noise! Noise!
That’s one thing he hated!
The NOISE! NOISE! NOISE! NOISE!

And THEN they’d do something he liked least of all!
Each MP on the Hill, the tall and the small,
Would stand close together, Peace Tower bells ringing.
They’d stand hand-in-hand.
And end his power clinging!

They’d vote! And they’d vote!
And they’d VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE!
And the more the Grinch thought of this confidence measure,
The more the Grinch thought, “This, I must try to censure!”
“Why, for three-years I’ve put up with it now!”
“I must stop Monday from coming!… But HOW?”

Then he got an idea! An awful idea!
THE GRINCH GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!

"I know just what to do!" The Grinch laughed full of gall.
And he strolled through the snow over to Rideau Hall.
And he chuckled, and clucked, "What a great Grinchy trick!"
"I’ll prorogue this House, and I’ll prorogue it quick!"

"All I need is a reason..." The Grinch looked around.
But, since reasons are scarce, there was none to be found.
Did that stop the old Grinch...? No! The Grinch simply said,
"If I can't find a reason, I'll create one instead!"
So he ran some commercials, like a good politician,
And blamed the whole thing on that darn coalition...